


Listener

by Twitzy



Category: Ylvis
Genre: AU: no wives no kids, F/M, I don't know, M/M, No Smut, but not a sad one either, not really a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:25:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twitzy/pseuds/Twitzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He won't ever touch him that way, but he likes to listen to his stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listener

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, this is just a lot of words without anything happening.  
> The concept I had got a bit mixed up, so now it ended up being this mess I am now presenting you.  
> Sorry for any mistakes, I still hate past tenses and I probably always will.  
> Not real, work of fiction.  
> Opinions are appreciated, as always :)  
> Have fun?

What they had wasn't sane. It wasn't healthy or safe and it certainly wasn't good for either of them. But they couldn't stop. Like addicts they would crave the next fix of their chosen drug and they would welcome the rush of excitement with their arms wide open, just to drown in the flood of disgust and shame that always followed.

Neither could recall the exact point in time when it had started. And maybe it hadn't even been one single instant, one tiny fraction of a moment that had made their world tilt to the side and thrown everything familiar upside down until all that was left was a mixture of bitter confessions and emotions.

Maybe this new reality had crept up on them, had waited for them to let their guard down so it could lure them in, abusing the false safety of being the same flesh and blood. They thought it to be normal, to be something that didn't need to be looked down upon at first. It was only over the years that they realized how far from ordinary their union had veered. They had talked about it so often it seemed like they had used every word known to man, and yet they still couldn't move on.

And now here they were, many years later and still burdened with the same doubts and moral conflicts as they were so many arguments ago.

It was all so twisted and they knew it. But they couldn't shake off the bond that tied them together, no matter how desperately they might try to do so. They had, they had tried so many times. And they were exhausted, worn out after another battle against nature.  
So when they put their shame aside once more the starvation faded away, accompanied by tears and trembling hands as they hugged for the first time in ages.

 

* * *

 

Vegard would say it started when they were still young, too young for anything like this. It was just a normal thing for Bård to look up to him. He was his older brother after all. The one who knew everything and could point him in the right direction if he ever was in doubt. He craved his brother's blessing and praise more than anything, and would go out of his way to make Vegard smile.

Over time, they grew up to be honest men. They would always be ruthless pranksters, nothing could change that. But they also learned to be more serious in certain moments, to be responsible for their own actions. For the most part, they were still the same boys they had always been, but their opinions changed, their knowledge of the world expanded and their wishes and desires morphed into those of adults. 

But you see, Vegard had never been a charmer. He had never been one to make the ladies stand in line for some alone time. He knew that and he was okay with it. But for Bård it was difficult, because when he learned that for the first time he could not look to his brother for guidance, he felt lost. He made up for it with jokes and smiles, but he was so confused inside.  
Of course, it didn't last long. He learned quickly, with that wit and luck that seemed to inhabit his every cell. He was popular and all Vegard could do was to stand on the sidelines and witness his little brother have fun learning all about romance and lust.

It wasn't as if the older brother never gathered any experiences. There were some girls for Vegard too, those who didn't mind his awkwardness in the first stage of getting to know each other, those who thought it endearing and cute. But unfortunately they got tired quickly, because a woman needs more than technical talks and the occasional chaste kiss. Vegard would have loved to give them more of himself. More warmth, more emotion. He would have given anything to the right one, but he couldn't break through that wall in his head. It had shielded him from being let down so many times before and now he couldn't control it anymore. He was unable to let himself fall, to trust completely and that was what made him so unsuitable for a relationship. The only ones he would open up to was his family, most of all Bård. It wasn't necessarily his own choice, but Bård had a way of coaxing him out of his security zone, sometimes gently, sometimes by sheer force of will.

* * *

 

Bård had been 15 when he first told Vegard about it. He had burst through his door after an evening spent with his girlfriend at the time. Vegard couldn't recall her name anymore, and he was sure Bård didn't either. Apart from her name, Vegard remembered every detail. Bård's hair was shorter that day. The hairdresser had messed up earlier and it had ended up being almost close to a military haircut. Vegard had laughed at him when he came home after school, so hard his stomach hurt and his brain screamed for oxygen. Bård had frowned and told him to get a grip and shut up. Vegard remembered it all.

He was sitting at his desk, looking at university information. He'd be done with school next summer and he wanted to choose his future path carefully. They were performing a lot these days, his little brother and him, but he was being realistic. This wouldn't last forever and when it ended, he'd need something solid to stand on.  
He jumped up when his door was violently thrown open and his brother stood in the doorway, the biggest grin on his face, pearls of sweat on his forehead and his skinny chest heaving with panting breaths. His blue eyes were sparkling with excitement.

“Have you been running all the way here?” Vegard sat back down in his chair, turning it around to face his brother, who was getting comfortable on his bed. Bård leaned his back against the headrest and crossed his arms behind his head. His long legs were stretched out in front of him and he turned his head a bit to look at Vegard. He smirked, showing off those perfect pearly white fake teeth.

“Guess what.”

Vegard groaned. “I'm not in the mood for your games right now, Bård. I'm kinda doing some important stuff here, so just tell me what it is and go.”

Bård didn't stop smiling, it seemed to be stapled to his face.

“She gave me a blowjob.”

Silence filled the room as Vegard couldn't think of anything to say.  
“What? Really, Vegard? No response at all?” Bård leaned forward as he crossed his legs and waited for an answer.

“That's...um..that's cool, Bård. But, I mean, what do you want me to say?”

Vegard couldn't feel more uncomfortable than right now, he was sure of it. Was he supposed to say anything in particular? Congratulate him, perhaps?

“Vegard, man...you could be a bit more happy for me. 'Cause I'm telling you, it was awesome! The way she-”

“Wait! I really don't think I need to hear this.”

“Come on, don't be such a prude. I need to tell someone, and I don't know who else I can talk to like this.”  
“Well, you'll have to find someone else, because I don't want to hear it. And I'm not a prude.”

“Do you listen to yourself, brother dearest? You're kinda contradicting yourself there...”

Vegard sighed and stood up. He walked over to the bed and let himself fall down next to Bård.

“Okay then. Say what you need to say and then get out.”

Bård turned around and chose to ignore the last part of the sentence. He really needed to tell someone and there was no one else around, except for his father and his younger brother. Neither were a suitable option for this story, so he had to rely on Vegard for this one.

“Alright! So, we were in town with some friends and then we went back to her house. She told me her parents wouldn't be home and that we could do whatever we wanted. You know that little wink she sometimes does? Yeah, she did that. And then she took my hand and we went to her room. I've been there before, but still it was a bit strange, because I knew we weren't going to play cards there. And when we- hey, are you even listening?!”

Vegard forced himself to look Bård in the eye. He had not been listening as intently as he probably was expected to. He got caught up gazing at his brothers lips moving as he spoke, the way his smooth skin showed off the newly acquired tan. His hands were making swift gestures in the air to accompany his tale.

“What? No, I mean yes. I'm listening! No parents, room, card playing. Go on.”

“Good. Where was I? Oh, right! So she pushed me down on her bed and we made out a while, which is always nice. And then she started to rub me through my pants.”  
Vegard couldn't tear his eyes off of Bård, even though he felt himself blush quickly. He really did not need to hear this.  
“I got hard so quickly, and her hand felt so good on me. So then she starts to open my fly and tells me to pull down my pants a bit because she has a surprise for me. I do and suddenly I'm kind of...exposed. And she's looking at my dick and I'm so uncomfortable.”  
 _Not as uncomfortable as I am right now..._ Vegard felt his entire face heat up and the urge to hide grew stronger with each word that left his brothers mouth.

“But then she moved down my body and she...put her lips around it. And I just...I couldn't really think anymore if I'm being honest. All I know is that I had my hands in her hair and she started moving and oh my god it was sooo good!”

Bård's voice got lower and rougher as he went on, remembering the feeling of pleasure in his abdomen and the way her wet mouth had felt around his cock. He couldn't even tell if she'd had skill or not. How could he, this was the first time somebody had done that for him.  
Vegard felt like he was choking on his own breath. He blinked and sat up, leaning against the headboard. He cleared his throat.

“So...that it? Are you going to leave now?” He kept looking at his feet. The way his toes wiggled inside the dark grey socks was truly fascinating.  
“Wha- Yes. Sorry for bothering you.” Bård got up from the bed and left the room without looking at his brother again. He shut the door firmly when he was outside.

Vegard took a deep breath and slid down the bed again until he was lying flat on his back. He brought his arms up to press his palms against his face.

“For fuck's sake...”

He let his arms fall to the sides with a dull thud. What a day. He was still burning with embarrassment, he was sure his entire face was as red as it could possibly get.

Every muscle in his body was tense and his thoughts were racing.

He couldn't deny that Bård's story had made him somewhat...excited. Yes, he had a raging hard-on, but he would be damned if he jerked off to the thought of his little brother getting head from some girl. Vegard closed his eyes and tried to ignore the tight feeling in his pants.

No, he wouldn't. He'd wait a few more minutes, then he'd take a nice cold shower and keep going over those university brochures.  
His cellphone vibrated in his pocket.

“ _She swallowed. -B._ ”

Vegard turned onto his stomach and groaned into the pillow. Why? Why did he have to do that?

He got up and went to the bathroom, quickly taking off his clothes and getting into the shower.  
The cold water felt like torture on his overheated skin. He put his head back and let the water run over his face and body. He felt is erection fade slowly and he made sure to stay under the icy stream until the last signs of arousal had subdued. Only then he allowed himself to get out of the shower, towel off almost violently and then hurried back to his room, hoping not to be bothered by anyone again.

As soon as he was inside he closed the door, turned off the light and slipped under the duvet, hoping sleep would come quickly and the new day would erase this strange incident.

Of course it didn't and he stayed awake for a long time with fleeting images of his brother's head being thrown back in pure pleasure as a faceless woman worked her magic on him.

When sleep finally did claim his mind, he still was not granted peace. His dreams were haunted by those very images, and when he woke up the next morning, he found himself hard and aching.

This time, he didn't even try to deny himself the release. He was too tired to fight. He let his hand travel down to his erection and wrapped his fingers around it, starting to stroke in a steady rhythm.

It was quick business, he tried to ignore the reason for his arousal as best as he could until the very last moment when the filthiest images from his dreams reappeared before his inner eye.

Vegard felt the shame wash over him in waves. He cleaned up and started his day as if nothing had happened. When Bård joined him on his way to school, he didn't talk.

They spent the entire week almost ignoring each other until their mother grabbed them by their collars and demanded to know what was up with her sons.

Both Bård and Vegard denied that anything was wrong and even though she immediately knew they were lying, she let it go. For now.

The brothers kept circling around each other the entire day after that, never more than two rooms away from each other, but also not getting any closer than sitting on opposite ends of the sofa.

If there ever had been a situation befitting the word “awkward”, then this was definitely it, Vegard thought. He knew he tended to overthink things, but he deemed himself entitled to do so after what had happened. Especially after that dream.

Thankfully, time passed quickly while he was engrossed in a book and when he looked up again it was dark outside. Time for bed.

Bård had fallen asleep in the same crooked position he had been sitting in when he was watching TV. Some random show still flickered in the background and the canned laughter rumbled softly through the old speakers.  
Vegard couldn't help but smile at his brother. He looked so incredibly young when he was sleeping, his face relaxed, lips slightly parted. He bent down and poked his arm.

“Hey, Bård. Go to bed, it's late.”

The boy squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in the armrest. Vegard looked at him silently for a moment, then turned around and walked up the stairs to his bedroom.

He changed into his blue plaid pyjamas and snuggled into the blankets, book in hand and ready to keep reading for another chapter or two. The ceiling lamp was turned off and the only source of light now was the little lamp on his nightstand that basked everything in a soft glow.

There was a knock on his door, just before it opened a bit and Bård's head poked around the corner.  
“Hey. Um..can I talk to you for a second?”

Vegard sighed. He couldn't avoid him forever and now was as good as any other time to get it over with.

“Yeah, come in. And close the door behind you.”

Vegard scooted over to give his little brother some room to sit on the bed beside him.

“So?”

“Hm?”

“What did you want to talk about?”

Bård looked confused. “Can't I just come talk to my brother without having a hidden agenda?”

“No. Not right now, at least.” Vegard smiled.

“Okay then. Um...I wanted to apologize for, you know. Making you uncomfortable. The...you know, the blowjob-thing. Yeah, that. Sorry.”

Vegard wondered if his brother could have made himself look any smaller than right now. He had pulled his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His eyes were flickering nervously from one point to the next, avoiding Vegard's curious gaze.

“It's okay, I guess. It didn't bother me that much.”

“Now you're lying. You practically threw me out.”

“Heh...yeah. Sorry about that.”

“It's alright.”

There was this silence again. He was dying to ask Bård if there was more to tell. He shouldn't, it wasn't a normal thing to ask your sibling. And it certainly wouldn't help to get rid of those dreams. But he was so curious and obviously Bård needed someone to talk to.

_Fuck it._ He looked at Bård.

“So...did you meet her again?”

“Yes. Two days ago. Why do you ask?”

“Tell me.”

Bård looked up. He was honestly confused right now.

“What? Why?”

“I want to hear.”

Vegard seemed to relaxed. He smiled and nodded at his younger brother, encouraging him to start talking. And Bård did.

* * *

 

Vegard still didn't know what had possessed him to ask Bård to tell him about his next encounter with the mystery girlfriend.  
He remembered it had left him hot and bothered, though. He had been young and easily impressed. It had been long before Bård had discovered he didn't prefer a specific gender, before Vegard had realised it brought him just as much satisfaction to listen and to let his imagination run wild as being the one doing the deed. Maybe he even enjoyed it more.

He couldn't help but smile fondly at the memories. Some of them were faded and out of focus, others were as crystal clear as the day he had gathered them, adding them to his endless collection of tales his brother had told him.

Bård had figured out pretty quickly that Vegard got turned on by it. That he liked to listen and used his brother's words to bring himself pleasure.

So he kept coming to Vegard whenever he hooked up with someone and he would tell him in detail what they had done, what it had felt like and what he would like to try someday. Vegard never questioned him, and he never told anything himself. He was only there to listen and to absorb every bit of passion in his brother's eyes and every rough word that passed through those lips.

It had almost become a ritual at some point, Bård reliving the moments and pulling Vegard along with him, showing his brother the most intimate side of himself.

They both got off on it, to be honest. They were aware of the other's arousal and they had given up on trying to hide the obvious proof.

The younger one had been 20 when he had found out that sex with men could be fantastic and that he did like to be the one on the receiving end once in a while.

When he told Vegard about it, the older man couldn't help the moan that slipped his usually adamant self control. Bård didn't ask.

He was never present when Vegard got lost in the scenes playing out in his head, but he saw the spark in his dark eyes. He would watch the way their colour changed and black seemed to invade the warm brown until they were blown wide with lust and wonder.  
Sometimes Vegard would ask him to do something specific the next time he met someone and Bård couldn't refuse, not even once. There had been difficult requests, ones that usually required a foundation of trust that was not easy to find in a one night stand. But he'd do it anyway.  
He made sure to always text his brother the address and name of the guy or girl he was going home with, just in case. They never got granted the privilege of visiting his own home. That was just for him and for the sick, stolen moments between him and his brother.

They wouldn't touch, they wouldn't taste, but they would look and listen, form the softest of touches with their words and gazes and lose themselves in this bittersweet state of unfulfilled fantasies.

Afterwards, they would both run, from each other, from their minds, from their shared sickness. They'd stay away from the other, sometimes for a long time, sometimes only for a day. It all depended on Vegard. He was the one who needed time to think once in a while. In those solitary moments he beat himself down like only he could, and he yelled and cursed and wished for all of this to fade away. He'd spend days, sometimes weeks in a dark stupor and slowly everything around him lost its colour. He'd lose his focus so badly in these moments it was a wonder he always made it to the other side.

But after the self inflicted accusation and punishment always came his negotiation, his trial. And he knew he lied to himself when he convinced his bad conscience he only did it out of love, the purest of love you could imagine.

It may be love, yes. But it was tainted, and he knew it. But how was he supposed to keep going when he couldn't even trust in his ability to love his brother anymore. The one that had always stood right by his side and accepted him with every flaw and imperfection that he had.

So he did just what he had always done. He pushed all the dark thoughts far away, behind that wall in his head where it was safe and nobody could find it. He'd clean up, pack his bags and go home.  
And Bård would be there. He always was. He didn't quite know why, but he'd always accepted their situation better and faster than Vegard. They didn't hurt anyone, so why should they even care?  
The only thing that made him run was the shame that was so evident on his brother's fine features afterwards. It hurt, it hurt so much he thought it would rip him apart sometimes. But he knew it would pass. It would disappear and Vegard would come back home to him. Bård could feel when Vegard was ready for the next turn and he'd stand in the living room, waiting for him to open the door.

They'd stand in front of each other and share a quiet moment of surrender. They knew the other inside and out and Bård could see if this had been a bad one, or if everything was alright. He could see it in Vegard's eyes and in the way his posture changed with the level of blame he put on his shoulders.

No matter which one it was, Bård was there, and he'd take the steps that separated him from his brother until he was so close he could see the little scar on Vegard's cheekbone.  
He'd wrap his arms around him and lean his head on his brother's shoulder, letting the warmth pass over to the tense figure in his embrace. Vegard would resist the comfort for a second, before he melted into it and let himself be loved in that twisted, yet beautiful way that only Bård could understand. They wouldn't mention the tears that fell sometimes, nor the way their voices broke when they assured each other they were still in this together.

No one would ever see a glimpse of it. This was for them only, both of them standing there with bare hearts and troubled minds.


End file.
